‘Being an average man in Singapore is basically a dating death sentence’: Redditor weighs in
SINGAPORE: A local Reddit user had a hot take on Singapore’s dating scene in a recent post, saying that she believes “being an average man in Singapore is basically a dating death sentence now.”
Her Aug 17 (Monday) post on r/asksg had a lot of other Singaporeans weighing in.
The post author, who says she’s “happily in a relationship,” wrote that she came to this conclusion after seeing her female friends swipe on the dating app Hinge, which made her “genuinely wonder” how the average male in Singapore should compete.
To be clear, she did not mean men who are unattractive, have no money, or are “weird,” but those who are average in looks and finances and have hobbies like everyone else.
Apparently, she kept hearing her girlfriends keep commenting that the men they passed on were too short, had a boring job or no vibes, or looked average. Other times, the women simply said the standard "I think I can do better.”
The post author also talked about one of her colleagues who ghosted a match because it gave her the ick when he opened their conversation with “hello.” This woman had also told her that after getting matched, she checks out the man’s LinkedIn profile and if his job is “too average,” she rejects him.
“Imagine thinking you’re doing okay on Hinge, only to get eliminated in the background because you said hello and your LinkedIn wasn’t impressive enough,” she added, arguing that her female friends’ preference for a man who is tall, attractive, fit, successful, funny, confident, emotionally mature, interesting, good at texting and proactive with dates, can definitely be considered as above average, which is bad news for any man who falls short of these qualities.
She found it ironic, however, that some of the same are also the ones who complain that there are no good men left, and added that it may be that men who don’t partner up by the time they leave school are “basically fighting a losing battle.”
“At this point, does an average man basically have to become above average just to get an average dating experience? Guys in SG: is dating really this brutal, or does it just look that way from the female side?” she asked.
In response, a commenter wrote, “Yes, it is this brutal if you are a male. You have better luck meeting someone at a hobby or volunteer or religious setting, and even then chances are it's non-local that attracts and are attracted by you.”
“As a guy who uses Hinge and Bumble in Singapore, I’d say there’s some truth to this. I don’t blame women for having preferences. The problem is when you combine everything: tall, fit, attractive, successful, funny, confident, emotionally mature, good at texting, proactive, etc. At that point, you’re describing someone who is probably above average…
That said, I don’t think being an average guy means you’re doomed. I’ve had matches and dates. You just have to put more effort into your profile and how you communicate.
So yeah, dating can be brutal for average men here. But I wouldn’t say women are the problem. The apps themselves make everyone feel like they’re shopping for an upgrade,” added another.
“Am an average man here. I do get some matches here and there, and tho ghosted feels hard emotionally, I learn not to take it personally at this point. It is what it is at the end of the day; if they don't like me beyond the surface, it's probably for the best anyway,” wrote a third, adding, “It’s also really nice for OP on the other side to recognise that it is hard for guys; I feel so seen for trying.”
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“As a single average guy, I got tired of judging and being judged. Been almost a decade (I'm 29 now) since my realisation that I don't want to go about the superficial and materialistic crowd… which is just… Singaporeans.
I've seen so many good-looking or successful friends who have great jobs and looks; some of them made it big real fast and buy resale flats or condos cause they can, but they can't hold a relationship for more than a couple of years. Why? Cause the people they're looking for are as materialistic as they are. They get into relationships fast because they don't bother knowing their partners beforehand. Just that their physique and the stats at the back of their baseball card look good. But they're not compatible,” chimed in another. /TISG