Woman struggles with anxiety after boyfriend enlists for NS: ‘I legit can’t stop crying’

SINGAPORE: Not every couple finds it easy to navigate an NS relationship. The sudden distance, limited communication, and uncertainty can be a major adjustment, especially for couples who were used to seeing each other almost every day.

For one young woman in Singapore, her boyfriend’s recent enlistment has left her struggling to cope with the sudden separation. While she understands that he is busy with National Service and does not blame him for being less available, she admitted that her anxiety has made the transition particularly difficult.

Taking to the r/NationalServiceSG forum on Saturday (Aug 15), she opened up about how badly she has been affected since her boyfriend enlisted.

“We used to spend every moment glued together, and now it’s suddenly all gone. I’m not blaming him though, because I have bad, bad anxiety,” she wrote.

She said one of her biggest fears is that something could happen to him during NS without her knowing.

“I’m afraid of his well-being, like if he’s suffering or not and if he needs anything but doesn't have it and if he can be bullied inside. I heard many cases go unreported, and I’m so, so terrified. With the lack of updates, I don’t know what he’s doing…”

The young woman also admitted that adjusting to the army’s changing schedule has not helped.

According to her, she had initially been told that she would be able to speak to her boyfriend at around 9.30 pm. However, the timing was suddenly changed to 9 pm, leaving her unprepared for the earlier call.

“With how volatile the schedule is, it makes me more worried. I love him so so much, and the sudden change isn't good for me either…But I know he has it harder. I just need advice to cope. 

“And like, I legit can't stop crying just now, and I don’t know why. And, like, I think it’s some separation issue, but I used to talk to him about everything, but now he’s not around anymore, and I’m so sad and anxious. Currently, he is in confinement now, but I feel like I’m going to die if I don't see him for one more day.”

“Your boyfriend probably feels 80x times worse”

In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors tried to reassure the young woman that her boyfriend would be fine. 

One commenter told her not to spend the whole day worrying about her boyfriend and suggested finding something else to do to keep her mind occupied.

Another Redditor reminded her that the first two to three weeks would probably be the toughest, especially while he is still adjusting to confinement and army life. Once that period is over, she will likely get to see him more often when he books out on weekends.

“Just take note he also needed time to rest and recharge himself,” they added. “Try not to do anything tiring when he books in on the Sunday.”

Others also urged her to be a little bit more understanding about her boyfriend’s schedule.

One explained, “Regarding schedule, it is normally very, very bad. Activities/conducts can be delayed by like 6+ hrs due to last-minute stuff, so remain very flexible for your bf. Just know whatever you feel now, your boyfriend probably feels 80x times worse, so try to accommodate his needs and be very, very understanding.”

Another Redditor, who said she was also an NS girlfriend, said, “Babes, it’s just something we’ll have to get used to. When he books out, understand he’s tired, let him rest, and maybe you guys can just eat a nice meal and chill at home to let his body rest. When he books in, remember he misses you as much as you miss him.”

In other news, an employer shared on social media that she’s considering replacing her domestic helper after the woman’s attitude allegedly changed several months into her employment.

On Thursday (Aug 13), she took to the MDW in Singapore (working conditions forum) Facebook group, explaining that her Myanmar helper had been with her family for slightly over a year.

Read more: ‘I’m really tired of having to listen to her arguments’: SG employer considers replacing maid