Dating app, woman using her phone
Too many choices, too many deal-breakers? Singaporeans say dating apps are making love harder
SINGAPORE: There are plenty of reasons why more Singaporeans are finding it difficult to find a romantic partner in the bustling city-state, but some locals believe dating apps and social media may be making things even harder.
The discussion started after one user asked what was happening to the dating scene. Based on his observations, there seems to be a strange mismatch in expectations between men and women.
Women, he claimed, have supposedly lowered their expectations so much that their “bar is on the floor.”
According to him, many women now say they are simply looking for a man who is respectful, emotionally mature, hygienic, able to communicate properly and has some direction in life.
Men, however, appear to have a rather different view of the situation.
According to the user, men argue that women expect them to have the full package: be attractive and confident, have an interesting personality, be financially stable, be socially capable, have a decent career, plan good dates and, naturally, still be the ones to make the first move.
“The interesting part is both sides seem genuinely convinced that the other side has it easier,” the user wrote. “So what’s actually going on?”
Data from the Department of Statistics’ (DOS) General Household Survey 2025 suggests Singapore’s dating scene may indeed be getting a little more complicated, with more young adults remaining single compared with five years ago.
Among female residents aged 25 to 29, 73.4 per cent were single in 2025, up from 69 per cent in 2020. For men in the same age group, the figure climbed even higher, rising from 81.6 per cent to 85.9 per cent over the same period.
Is dating app culture partly to blame?
In the Reddit post, some locals said that dating apps may have played a part in making the modern dating scene more difficult.
“Online dating today has ruined the dating scene,” one wrote. “You get so many matches you don’t really care about each individual person anymore.”
“You instead try to find any minute fault just to give a reason to reject them because you think you can find the perfect one. Swiping makes it so superficial; you tend to scrutinise every single aspect of the person before considering them.”
The user added, “In the past, when you met people in person, you didn't find out about their flaws until much later; by then you would have developed feelings, and those flaws would have been negligible. I’ve seen people make such stupid excuses to ghost someone. People get more picky when there are more matches.”
Another said, “Everyone is dating like they are on a job interview! This stuff never went down during my parents' time.”
A third user argued that the internet has also changed the dating scene.
In the past, she wrote, there were no social media or dating apps constantly showing people what else was out there. As a result, people had fewer options to compare and were more likely to be “contented with whatever or whoever was available.”
“Truth is, people aren’t getting better or worse,” she added. “Their expectations are just getting higher.”
A fourth, meanwhile, attributed this to online dramas, saying, “Korean and Chinese dramas have completely warped expectations of the ideal partner, creating a standard for men that exists purely in fantasy or among the elite. On the flip side, local Singaporean guys tend to be practical, logical, and low-key—creating a massive disconnect between expectations and reality.”
A fifth stated, “Just saw this in another thread: online dating is like looking for clean water, men are in a desert and women are in a swamp.”
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Understand what you truly want
Perhaps the problem is not just having too many options, but what people do with those options.
People who spend hours on dating apps, endlessly swiping and chatting with matches without really making an effort to get to know them may be falling into a trend experts call “carouseling.”
According to Vice Magazine, the term refers to talking to multiple matches across different dating apps without ever taking things any further.
Those caught in the cycle may keep several conversations going but avoid meeting in person, essentially turning potential dates into “pen pals.” Once a conversation gets stale, they simply move on to the next match and start the whole process again.
With so many options at their fingertips, it can be all too easy for people to keep searching for someone better rather than giving one person a proper chance.
Relationship experts have warned singles against getting too caught up in this cycle.
In a CNA article, relationship coach and luxury matchmaking consultant Anisa Hassan advised singles to “take time to understand what they truly want, rather than spreading themselves across multiple platforms.”/TISG