Does having an open relationship/marriage last in Singapore in the long run? Netizens share their experiences

SINGAPORE: In Singapore, it is believed that monogamous marriages and traditional family structures in relationships remain the norm. With this, a netizen curiously asked on Reddit if having an open relationship and/or marriage succeeds in the country, and it sparked a very interesting discussion among other people as they shared their insights, opinions, and own experiences.

In the post, the netizen admitted that he/she saw on a dating app that there was this guy who was in an open relationship, and that it had his girlfriend’s approval. 

“I'm curious if anyone has ever gone from open relationship while dating to open marriage after marrying, and how has that gone for them,” the netizen declared. 

One comment shared that he/she has met a few who are in this kind of relationship that are still married to this day and are very happy together. 

“Trust and consent is #1 in these types of arrangements…The really healthy couples are still quite hard to find. If the guy offers to let you meet his wife/gf, chances are they're fine…You must be ready to run at the first sign of marital problems though,” the comment stated. 

Another netizen said: “My own view is that it doesn’t work unless both individuals have steady partners that they see regularly outside the marriage. Otherwise, it's a recipe for jealousy and god knows what.” 

One more netizen admitted that he/she has been in a polyamorous relationship for more than a decade now and married a partner to buy a house. Moreover, his/her other partner is also married to someone else. 

“Don't know what your metric for success is - I'm out to some family and all of my friends, and I'm happy. I think it would be much more challenging if I wanted kids, but thankfully I don't,” the netizen remarked. 

“Full disclosure, I personally prefer being mono, but I can see and understand how an open relationship works out, and even polygamy. Simply put, as partners, we cannot 100% fulfil each other’s needs, so have an open discussion about it and see what options are on the table. Other reasons can include childhood experiences and trauma that end up developing such behaviour,” a comment concluded. 

There are mixed opinions on open relationships and marriages. However, this discussion highlighted the relevance of trust, consent, honesty, and clear communication between partners. For some, monogamous relationships better suit their values and needs, while others can have a consensual non-monogamous relationship that can fulfil a long-term arrangement. It is believed that these kinds of arrangements should be openly discussed and mutually agreed upon by everyone involved to avoid misunderstandings in the future.