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Man finds it hard to trust GF after her ‘microcheating’: ‘Is it healthier to just break up?’
SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man is wondering whether his relationship has reached the point of no return after his girlfriend’s past “microcheating” left him struggling to trust her.
Taking to social media for a second opinion, the man said his girlfriend had previously done several things that made him question her boundaries with other men, particularly during their university days.
He claimed she would call “a man who was interested in her for one to two hours” late at night whenever the couple had an argument. She also allegedly spent an hour “speaking to male colleagues on the phone” at night and “flirted and exchanged messages with another man” who had shown interest in her.
Although those incidents happened in the past, the man said they have continued to affect how much he trusts her.
Now, with his girlfriend pursuing her Master’s degree, another seemingly small incident has reopened the old wound.
Recently, she told him she had a “three-hour lecture” and sent him a Telegram bubble indicating that she was in class.
Three hours later, he checked in and asked where she was. She said she was still in class, but when he asked her to send another Telegram bubble, she refused, explaining that she could not do so because the professor was standing in front of her.
“We argued, and she said she wants to break up because she feels she shouldn’t have to update me every 2–3 hours,” he wrote.
Seeking advice, he asked fellow Singaporeans: “Am I being insecure/paranoid, or is my reaction understandable given our history? Should I try to work on the relationship and rebuild trust, or is it healthier to just break up? Appreciate any input!”
‘Hear what she has to say’
In the comments, some Singaporeans were quick to push back on the idea that what the girlfriend had done could be dismissed as “microcheating.” One user argued that it was simply “cheating,” adding that the man should not “fool himself” into seeing it as something less serious.
Another echoed this view, writing, “Flirting with another person she knows is interested in her and not immediately shutting it down from the beginning is straight-up cheating.”
Others also urged him to walk away from the relationship. One wrote, “Working on the relationship takes two people. Breaking up only needs one. She has thrown out the ‘breakup’ word already. Words are only said when the thought has been there for a while. Save yourself some agony. Unless there’s some reason for staying by her, get out of this bs.”
A few, however, suggested that he hear his girlfriend out first and try to work things out from there.
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Offering a female perspective, one Redditor shared, “As a woman with a close male best friend, I do think context matters. I can spend hours talking to my bestie without anything romantic or inappropriate happening, so I wouldn't want a partner expecting constant updates or proof of where I am.”
Another added, “Talk to her. Hear what she has to say. Jiayou!”
In other news, a university student has admitted he felt rather upset after his mother, who earns S$14,000 a month, told him that she expects him to hand over a portion of his salary once he starts working.
The son said the demand has left him particularly annoyed because he is already thinking about the hefty financial commitments that will come with graduating and starting his career.