Woman working on computer at the desk from home
‘There’s always someone better and smarter’: Singaporean woman opens up about impostor syndrome after years of feeling ‘lousy’ and ‘behind’
SINGAPORE: Constantly feeling as though you’re not good enough, whether at work or in life generally, can be incredibly crippling.
Recently, a Singaporean woman took to Reddit to open up about her battle with “impostor syndrome,” hoping strangers online could help her figure out how to do better and finally start feeling a little confident at work.
In a post on r/singaporejobs on Monday (Sep 7), she wrote, “I’m so tired of constantly feeling like I’m the one who is behind. It feels like no matter where I go—tuition, university, work—there's always someone better, smarter, more confident, and more capable than me.”
“And maybe the most painful part is that I don’t even know what it feels like to genuinely believe that I’m good at something.”
The woman went on to explain that her insecurities began when she was young.
During her tuition days, she said she was never the cleverest student in the room.
“I was never the smart kid,” she wrote. “I knew my tuition teacher usually took questions from assessment books, so I would literally go to places like Popular just to memorise the answer keys so that I wouldn’t get the lowest score. I was so afraid of being the one at the bottom that I would memorise answers just to make sure I didn’t look stupid.”
“But even then, I knew the truth. I wasn’t actually one of the brighter students in class. I was just trying really hard to not be the worst.”
University days
Somehow, that feeling followed her into university as well.
She said her confidence was so low that she felt anxious almost every day. Despite putting in plenty of effort, she watched friends who seemed to barely study speak confidently, participate without hesitation and still come out with better results.
She, on the other hand, could spend hours preparing and still walk away feeling like she failed.
“I started feeling like maybe I was just the lousy one. The one who was always behind. The one who had to work twice as hard just to be average.”
Two years into her career, the self-doubt remains
Unfortunately, those heavy negative feelings have carried over into her working life too. Two years in, and nothing has really changed for her.
Her teammates were “ridiculously effective,” she said, while she felt like the opposite.
“They seem to know what they’re doing, they can think on their feet, they can articulate their thoughts, they can come up with strategies, and they just seem so much more capable than me.”
“I can do the basic BAU stuff, but the moment it comes to something bigger, like a capstone project, I just feel completely lost. I suck at strategic thinking. I suck at writing. I suck at presenting. I don’t know how to structure my thoughts properly, and every time I have to present, I become so nervous that I can barely get my words out. I stutter. I lose my train of thought. I don’t sound confident at all.”
Her worries have also spilt over into how she views her relationship with her manager.
She said she sometimes feels her manager would probably fire her if the circumstances allowed it.
“I feel like the only reason I’m still here is because we’re already so short-staffed, and losing me would make things harder for the team. And that thought honestly makes me feel even worse, because it makes me feel like I’m not actually wanted here — I’m just being kept because they need the manpower.”
‘The younger version of yourself would be pretty proud of adult you’
You've probably heard of impostor syndrome. It's that sneaky belief that you don't really deserve your success and that one day everyone's going to figure out you've been faking it the whole time. The crazy part is that it sticks around even when you clearly have the receipts, like qualifications or recognition, to prove you've earned your spot.
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It's not an official mental illness or anything, but it's a damaging thought pattern that a shocking 70% to 80% of us deal with at some stage.
Other Singaporean Redditors who saw themselves in her story joined the discussion.
One commenter said, “I feel like I wrote this... always felt super average my entire life and anxious at my first job now, sian.”
Another shared, “I relate deeply to all that you’ve shared—insecurities, impostor syndromes, comparison, last and lost plenty. I’ve been through it all, and still going through some.”
Some users also offered words of encouragement, urging her to take a step back and recognise how much she had already achieved.
One told her, “One thing that strikes me about your post is that in spite of feeling this way, you made it through school, got into uni, and are now gainfully employed! That’s huge if you think about it. Maybe the younger version of yourself would be pretty proud of adult you.”
Another advised: “Are you a software developer? Then one workaround I can suggest to improve your critical thinking. Work on LeetCode every day. Start from the easy problems. After 1-2 months, you will feel the real difference in your thinking pattern. Just remember, consistency is the key.”/TISG