"I broke down after they left" — Woman heartbroken after her family & friends criticized her BTO reno during housewarming party

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman recently hosted a housewarming party for her newly renovated BTO flat but was heartbroken when her family and friends criticized it. In her post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Dec 23 (Monday), the woman recounted the experience and shared some of the harsh comments she received during the gathering:

• “How much did you pay for this (insert furniture)? S$3,000? Expensive ah. You kena cheated, is it? Taobao is also not that expensive.”
• “Why does your Aircon design look so weird? Aircon cannot be placed in that location because (insert whatever reason).”
• “Why did you choose this material for the countertop? This one will surely get damaged after a year. Countertop must use granite one.”
• “Your one is super low quality, sia. Taobao one, even not as bad as this.”
• “Wahhh. You choose wood flooring, ah. You'll sure regret it after a few years. Hahahaha.”
• “Your house is so high-tech ah. 1-2 years obsolete, you'll sure have a headache.”

While the woman admitted that she made some poor decisions and even thought to herself, “The house is really so horrible,” she vowed never to treat others the same way because she understands how exhausting and costly the entire process is. She knows firsthand how difficult it can be to get everything just right. “There are 1001 things to jaga. You need to prioritize the outcome because we don't print money, and there will be things that your interior designer or contractor cannot implement for you for one reason or another. Finally, there will be mistakes that you have to live with,” she explained. The woman said that after the party ended, she became emotional because of their criticisms. “I broke down after they all left,” she wrote. “This is also the reason why I kept my mouth shut during other friends' or relatives' housewarmings. If anything, I would only ask questions to understand the owners' considerations when they renovate their house.” Wondering if others had gone through something similar, she reached out to the community, asking if it's common for family members and friends to be toxic during housewarmings in Singapore.

“The normal thing to do at housewarming is to congratulate the new homeowners...”

In the discussion thread, several users told the woman to just ignore the harsh comments. They explained that her so-called 'friends' and family probably felt insecure or inferior and tried to put her down to make themselves feel better. One user said, “The comments made it sound like they are jealous. Somehow, I think that due to high housing and reno prices, some people tend to see housewarming parties as a platform for the host to flaunt. So sadly, when such people attend a housewarming, they will say ungracious and mean things to the host. Just ignore them and don’t take it to heart.” Others chimed in to say that this kind of behaviour isn’t typical at housewarming parties and that it was likely just her specific group of relatives and friends being toxic. One user added, “The normal thing to do at housewarming is to congratulate the new homeowners, eat together, find a common topic to chat about, etc. and better, just find something nice to say about the house (e.g., location, view, furniture, design etc). Even if a person has many judgemental things to say about someone else's house, they should keep it to themselves and only say the neutral or nice ones. It's basic courtesy not to hurt the feelings of someone who worked hard to secure a roof over their head.” Some users went further, advising the woman to seek out better friends and avoid inviting toxic relatives or family members to her home in the future. One user expressed, “Get them out of your house, don't be a pushover. Once you show you can get nasty and stand up for yourself, they will back right off.” In other news, one Singaporean man sent the internet into a frenzy when he revealed that his relatives were charging an “entrance fee” for visiting their house during celebrations like Chinese New Year and Christmas. In his post on Reddit’s ‘Singapore Raw’ forum, the man shared that he found this practice odd and wondered if this is ‘a new thing’ in the local culture. Read more: “Is this a new thing?” — Singaporean asks after his relatives charge “$28 per pax” entrance fee for visiting their house during Xmas & CNY Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)