‘Does she hate me?’ — Man left heartbroken as girlfriend suddenly turns cold

SINGAPORE: A man turned to social media to share how troubled he feels about his relationship, saying that his girlfriend has recently become cold and distant. In a post on Reddit’s r/SGexams, he explained that they met earlier this year, and things started off great between them. However, over the past few weeks, he started noticing changes in her behaviour. He said that whenever he told her he loved her or gave her a compliment, she would just respond with a flat “thanks” and wouldn’t say anything in return. He also shared that physical affection had disappeared. “She doesn't even wanna hold my hand or just make any contact with me when we meet up; like when I tried to hold her hand in the movie theatre, she just pulled it away.” What hurt him even more was finding out she had been spending time with other guy friends without telling him. “She was hanging out with her guy friends one-on-one, listening to music in his car, her going on walks with another guy, etc. She's been hiding lots of stuff from me.” Seeking advice and clarity, he asked fellow locals, “I was just wondering if I did something wrong… or am I overthinking this? How can I make things right? I’m sorry I’m not the most attractive guy, but I still would like a chance. Does my girlfriend hate me?”

“You’re better off leaving.”

In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Reddit users told the man that his girlfriend had, without a doubt, lost interest in him. Some also advised him to break things off before the situation worsens. “Please don’t waste your time trying to fix things; it’s good to have hope, but it’s better to know when to stop,” one comment read. “Respectfully, you’ll make yourself look like a fool breaking your back trying to amend something that wasn’t truly there in the first place.” Another wrote, “Honestly, I don’t know if there’s anything you can do. She probably lost interest, and if the other guy wants to be in a relationship with her, you’re getting dumped. No way around it.” A third added, “You are probably a good boyfriend, but there’s nothing you can control. You’re better off leaving… or stay for the canon event. If you love her, imagine being in a relationship with someone who actually loves you, too. You deserve better.” Still, not everyone agreed that he should end the relationship immediately. A few commenters encouraged him to open up to his girlfriend and have an honest conversation before making any big decisions. One wrote, “Talk to her about it. Tell her how much this means to you and how you want to fix things if something’s gone wrong between you two.”

What can you do if your partner stops showing you affection?

Talk it out. Christiana Njoku, a certified relationship coach and marriage mentor, says that having an open and honest conversation is a good first step. Be brave and tell your partner how you feel. Ask them why they’re pulling away. Yes, it might open a can of worms, but it’s better than staying in the dark. After hearing their side, let them know you're willing to work through the issues and stand by them. Give them the assurance that you’re not giving up just yet. Try counselling. If you're nervous about bringing things up on your own, or if you've already tried talking but nothing has changed, it might be worth giving counselling a shot. Know when to let go. If nothing changes despite your efforts, it may be time to walk away. Noah Williams, a relationship expert at Marriage.com, says, “In some cases, the best course of action may be to end the relationship. While this can be a difficult decision, it’s important to prioritise your emotional well-being and recognise when a relationship is no longer serving you.” He added, “Ending a relationship can be a healthy and empowering choice that allows you to focus on your own growth and happiness.” Read also: Local says he’s ‘drowning’ after nearly 5 months of unsuccessful job hunting