‘Am I wrong?’: Son reluctant to travel with dad who plays phone videos ‘non-freaking-stop’ from morning to night

SINGAPORE: A frustrated son turned to social media to ask if he was wrong for not wanting to bring his father on an overseas trip with him because he feels drained by his father’s habit of playing videos aloud on his phone throughout the day.

In a post on the r/asksg subreddit on Monday (Oct 19), he explained that his father has become hooked on short-form Chinese dramas, AI-narrated e-books, political news, and investment updates in recent years.

“Every single day his phone speaker is actively [videos] non-freaking-stop. Morning to night. There is zero peace and quiet in my house unless I lock myself up in my room.”

The son said he had repeatedly asked his father to use earphones, but to no avail. During a recent two-week holiday together, his father’s earphones broke, but instead of switching off his phone or giving everyone a break from the noise, he simply held the phone to his ear and kept listening on speaker, even as he wandered the streets and visited tourist attractions.

“He just really won't stop. Not when eating, not when touring and NOT EVEN WHEN SLEEPING.”

He also stressed that he loves his father, but sharing a room with him overseas was exhausting.

“When we shared a room, I'm subjected to his videos, and he can watch until he fall asleep on his bed with the video still playing. I have to wake him up and nag him to PLEASE (TURN IT) OFF AND GO TO SLEEP. I'M GOING CRAZY. WHY ARE YOU SO ADDICTED TO YOUR PHONE?!”

He added that his father also frequently experiences nightmares and shouts in his sleep. During their last stay in another country, he said he had to move to the living room sofa several times to get rest.

At the end of his post, he asked the online community: “Am I the a**hole for being reluctant to go on a trip with my dad? He does not register my discomfort with his habits even after I voice them repeatedly. I understand because he's old, so he doesn't really remember to be considerate. I would get 2 rooms if I could, but that would be so painful for my wallet 😫 and I can't quite afford it at the moment..”

“Even as I'm typing this, he's playing some US politics news video, help lah idk how to manage him anymore.”

‘Get support from others’

In the comments, one user suggested giving his father an ultimatum: “Just tell him you will only go on a trip with him if he uses a pair of earphones or stop watching during the trip. If he doesn’t want to compromise, then too bad, trip cancelled. For him.”

Another said, “Sorry, but he seems very inconsiderate (forgets to be considerate). Using (an) earpiece/earphones while watching/listening to music/videos in public is common etiquette. I think the first thing is to constantly remind him/educate him on being considerate to you and others each time he does it.”

A third user recommended “buying his father an earpiece,” to which the post author responded: “He has (an) earpiece. I bought him, but he doesn't want to use. One day, I was fed up, and I told him, please use it for my sanity because I was really going crazy. He used it for 1 day and then went back to not using.”

A fourth commenter added it might be time to involve other family members: “It does sound like he has a phone addiction problem. But if so, you can’t be the only member of your family to notice or be concerned. It might be helpful to get support from others to sit down and have a talk with him. When multiple people are telling him the same thing, it’s less easy for him to dismiss it.”/TISG

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