Man drowning in family debt says he is losing hope: ‘I am just destined to fail and work like a dog with no purpose in life’

SINGAPORE: A man who’s drowning in debt recently vented on social media about how terrible his current situation is and how he is slowly losing faith that he’ll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In his post on the r/SingaporeRaw forum, the man shared that all his family members, save for his mum, have taken out loans and have yet to pay them off in full.

His first brother, he wrote, “maxed out his credit cards and cashline” before taking out another loan to fund his trading habits.

“Collectively, he has lost over S$70,000 just from trading alone. He managed to earn S$10,000 once, and that was it.”

His father, who works as a Grab driver, also took out three loans to support his son’s trading because he initially believed it would pay off. He also has a car loan to service.

His other brother reportedly has one loan and earns around S$2,000 as a fresh graduate.

The man said he has student loans of his own but repeatedly defaulted on them to help his father with his debts.

“I had to continuously choose to help my dad and, in turn, had to keep on defaulting my own student loans.”

“Now that has blown up into my face too. In May, the bank demanded that I pay S$24,000 in full. I had no choice but to default on payment because it was either my student loan or my family living with no electricity and water since bills were defaulted for months too, and my dad could potentially go bankrupt because of default payments on the rental car.”

“My brother managed to make the trading work once, and we got S$10,000. Everything went to paying my student loan just so that the bank wouldn't sue me and my dad since he's my guarantor.”

The man said his family needs at least S$12,000 a month to cover their loans, bills, and daily expenses.

Understandably, he said he feels overwhelmed by the situation and is struggling to see how he can help his family work their way out of debt.

“I don't mind eating rice and eggs and instant noodles every day to cut down costs because I know just how much of a deep s*** we are in right now. What stresses me the most is the anxiety of constantly not having enough and the looming fate of being sued.”

“If my dad goes bankrupt again, we might never recover because he went bankrupt before 16 years ago. My dad says he is so close to clearing off 3 different loans, but I am already so exhausted. I don't even know who else I can loan from, be it our relatives or friends or the bank, because we owe them all money too.”

He has been applying for higher-paying jobs in the hope of improving his income but said he has yet to find a suitable opportunity. In the meantime, he is planning to take on part-time warehouse work to earn some additional money and help cover the family’s expenses.

His mother, who is the only family member he said does not have any loans, has also tried to help financially.

At one point, she reportedly pawned her gold jewellery, including her wedding ring, to raise money for the family.

“I am so stressed out over money all the time that it's also affecting my health and well-being both physically and mentally. It's to the point where I am having thoughts like, ‘Ok, maybe if I am gone, then maybe my insurance payout might be enough?’ Maybe I am just destined to fail and work like a dog with no purpose in life. Sorry for the long post. I just am not sure how to move forward.”

“Everyone needs to be responsible for their own doing”

In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors felt that the family’s biggest problem was the man’s father and brother continuing to take on debt, particularly to fund trading. Several urged the family to put a stop to the trading before the situation got even worse.

One wrote, “Stop trading. You're just gambling, but you guys are probably convincing yourselves it's an actual business. You need to wake up.”

Another told the man to put his own student loans first and stop taking responsibility for everyone else’s debts.

“Settle your own debts. That's a priority. If you want to help yourself, don't help anyone else and be firm. Everyone needs to be responsible for their own doing.”

“Your brother isn't learning. Ask him to go borrow a personal loan or credit card loan to settle his own debts and recover whatever you can, giving the excuse that your student loan is outstanding for months.”

Meanwhile, a third Redditor suggested creating a household budget and working out how much each family member could realistically contribute towards the debts.

“Make a budget and plan for each person to solve their own debt and how many can each feasibly contribute per month to your dad's debt. Of course the budget would also include stuff like utilities and groceries, which everyone has to contribute equally.”/TISG

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